Working with Children's Foundation its formerly named Stubbins but switched it to just Children's Foundation Moberly site. I cant even begin to describe what an incredible opportunity this is. I really cant! I am so amazed by this door that was opened for me! For those of you who don't know the type of work I do; I get to work at a youth center. The residents and other staff seriously feel like family. This is more to me than some paycheck. Although, some days I do freak out over money I remember that God will not give me more than I can handle. After tomorrow I shall know my schedule more though so I can try to fit in a second job.
When talking about about "Open doors" I am talking about the ones God opens for you. Last week I got one job. I thought this line of work had been closed for me. My last semester at CCCB in 2007 I had made plans to work as a house parent at a Children's home. Then my plans crumbled when I found out that I had to be married. So then, I just accepted one dead end job after another. Just trying to survive in this economy like everyone else. I still felt a tug on my heartstrings in what I wanted to do to make a difference even when I worked at crumby places. My whole life I have wanted to do something to make a difference in either Chilldren or Youth. It is not an easy field but it is one of the most rewarding. It isn't even about me it is about them and how to help them. When you seek God you will find him and I know that I was definitely knocking on his door. No guarantees but I knew that I needed to knock. He has given me more than I deserve and I am so grateful that it was this door that was opened.
What doors do you need opened? What doors has he opened for you? Remember this verse:
Matthew 7:7
New Century Version (NCV)
7 "Ask, and God will give to you. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will open for you.
Monday, I got a rewarding job! I do say rewarding because it meets one of my goals in life. Which is to make a difference in the life of our Children/Youth. It is a parttime job but I know that I can eventually get another parttime job or a fulltime job and this is a start.
Backing up a day earlier from Monday. Sunday! Sunday I was at worlds end I was tired,depressed,hungry, and worried . I really couldnt stand being around people and I had gone to church feeling hopeful that I would get some wisdom from learning. I did but it still didnt help the mood I was in. When I wasnt in my church I was in my room balling my eyes out while: praying and reading. I was also fasting so I had hardly any energy to do anything. The day was a disaster!
Back to Monday I set out to go job hunting at 830 am and it was extremely hard because I still hadnt ate anything and the weather was freezing. I began to panick a few of the places I wanted to apply to were not open yet. I got a call after getting an email about a possible Job opportunity. I gave the person my phone number but I was not expecting a phone call. That phone call was the start of a great week! I went in and got interviewed and when I left I got called with the Job offer right away. I definitely believe in fasting and I definitely believe that it was my fasting and prayer that helped me get this Job. I never lost my faith I was just really discouraged and all I wanted to do is sleep but instead I kept going and seeking God's wisdom. I am far from perfect I have a lot of flaws but God uses my weaknesses and in him I am strong. When I pray for my attitude to change it definitely does too.
Today, I filled out a bunch of paperwork. I pretty much gave my whole life story :p but it was so worth it. I keep thinking about the youth I get to influence. I know it will not be an easy task all the time but I know I can handle it and I know I will give 100%. Im not sure when I start I do know I start soon though.
I need a second job so that I can: Save for a car,Move into my own place, Get a Missouri license, Contacts etc... Please pray for my second job I have a few prospects but im still applying everywhere. Thank you!
1. How many Siblings do I have? 2 brothers 1sister and 1 sister in law
2. How many times have I been in love? Once
3. Whats my favorite holiday? 4th of July
4. Whats my biggest fear? Becoming Homeless
5. My favorite zoo animal? Hippo
6. What is my favorite exercise machine? Elliptical
7. In High School I had 4 accomplishments what were they? Diploma, Advanced Choirs,English Excellence Award, Honor roll for 11th and 12th grade
8. What state do I want to visit the most? California
9. Who is my favorite author? Max Lucado
10. What is my favorite color? Baby Blue
How many did you get right? don't lie! So far I have not talked to anyone who knew all the answers about me. I even got quizzed by a couple of friends and didn't know 1-10 for them. Ouch!
Well, I decided to do this quiz to prove a point that we can see each other everyday and not even know the simplest details in ones life like: favorite color? How much do you know about anyone? In my opinion, I believe that we should spend more time talking to one another and asking some of these questions. Because when you truly know someone how can you judge them? Also, When you know more about a person and they know more about you their is an understanding and you will begin to develop more of an opinion rather than just stating you dont like a person without knowing them.
Come on people lets get to know one another better!
"Speechless" is the best word I can come up with when I find out that this person I thought was my friend isn't really my friend. Life is challenging at times when it comes to friends. ..sometimes you dont know who really is your friend... I think sometimes we even forget what it means to actually be a friend because we get into this selfish way of thinking. What can somebody do for me? Instead of What can I do for the person? So messed up!Personally, I would rather know first hand that the person is really as much as my friend as I am there's I cannot think of a person that would rather be lied too. Okay, I could use a personal story on this topic but I would rather not. This is not a gossip column. Lets just say I am praying for broken friendships and i am praying that the friendships I develop that I am and can be a real friend to them and that they would be a real friend to me. I know for certain one friend that is not and will never be a foe. God! Everyone else you never know! You just have to trust that person to be a real friend and hope for the best.
Proverbs 17:17
New Century Version (NCV)
17 A friend loves you all the time,
and a brother helps in time of trouble.
Luke 6:31
New Century Version (NCV)
31 Do to others what you would want them to do to you.
Ephesians 4:29-32
New Century Version (NCV)
29 When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you.30 And do not make the Holy Spirit sad. The Spirit is God's proof that you belong to him. God gave you the Spirit to show that God will make you free when the final day comes.31 Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil.32 Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ.
Colossians 3:12-14
New Century Version (NCV)
12 God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So you should always clothe yourselves with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Bear with each other, and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you. 14 Even more than all this, clothe yourself in love. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity.
CS Lewis writes:“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”
THE FOLLOWING BLOG IS NOT: Graphic,Judgmental,Condemning or To harm those who have either gotten an Abortion or know someone that has.
THE FOLLOWING BLOG IS: Pro Life
When did human life begin? At Conception!
Here's a baby at 20 weeks!
According to Christianliferesources.com TOTAL ABORTIONS SINCE 1973:
52,008,665 and counting... :-(
Isaiah 49:1
New Century Version (NCV)
Isaiah 49
God Calls His Special Servant
1 All of you people in faraway places, listen to me.
Listen, all you nations far away.
Before I was born, the Lord called me to serve him.
The Lord named me while I was still in my mother's womb.
Jeremiah 1:5
New Century Version (NCV)
5 "Before I made you in your mother's womb, I chose you.
Before you were born, I set you apart for a special work.
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
Psalm 139:13-16
New Century Version (NCV)
13 You made my whole being;
you formed me in my mother's body. 14 I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.
What you have done is wonderful.
I know this very well. 15 You saw my bones being formed
as I took shape in my mother's body.
When I was put together there, 16 you saw my body as it was formed.
All the days planned for me
were written in your book
before I was one day old.
Luke 1:41
New Century Version (NCV)
41 When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the unborn baby inside her jumped, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.
The following is a note I wrote on Facebook a few years ago and I still agree with what I said to this day.
Im Pro-life all the way. No matter the circumstance i do not think women should kill their Babies.A fetus is a baby. Their are better options. Think about it you could of not been born because somebody told your mom it was okay to get an abortion. Thats not right! Not even just as Christians but as real people with hearts we should believe in the lives of unborn babies. Also, i do not think that if you were in the position to get an abortion that you would just be ok with it. You would regret it. Anyone i have talked to who has an abortion regrets it because they know it was another human being that could of lived. In fact, women who get an abortion often are depressed because they spend their lives wondering what that baby could have became. Im so tired of hearing people tell other people that its okay to get an abortion because its your body you can do with it what you want too. Who are you to play God with an unborn babies life?
Now i know i may get some pretty nasty feedback about this blog but these things are what i believe and they are my opinions that i just chose to share.
Why now? well its because i read all over Facebook and I hear a lot of people talk around me about how abortion is ok. and Its not.
Go under my notes and go to it if you would like to read the comments.
Anyways, To this day under no circumstance do I believe an unborn baby shouldn't be born. If someone is raped then you can still carry the baby to term and give it up for adoption. If their is a risk that you may die well then at least you are sacrificing one life for another. And Jesus is full of miracles you still may live. Like I said in my Facebook note Who are we to play God? God created us for a purpose Jeremiah 29:11 states that very clear.
I have been speaking up for those who are unborn my whole life. I will continue too but it doesnt mean that I condemn those who have gotten Abortion and will pray for those who have or known someone who have but any way you look at it. It is Sin! You body is not yours! God created you! If you have gotten an Abortion I encourage you to repent and to turn your sin over to God.
Pray for the unborn!
I am going to also ask that you pray for AngieAntiTheists who is constantly uploading videos on youtube about how Their is no God and how Abortion is the best Option. She does believe that she has rights to her own body and that God is mythical. She also in her Abortion video told people "Have a great and Godless day"
Also pray for this girl that was once my friend in the 9th grade. I am ashamed to admit this but when she told me she had an Abortion and was proud of it I was really upset with her and I at the time wasnt mature enough to witness to her or stay her friend so I ended the friendship. I wish that I hadnt.
Lastly pray for Lil wayne and other singers that have songs about abortion being okay.
Barbarba Ann Hansard one of my best friends that passed was right on when she commented on my Facebook Note I really enjoyed all the responses but hers in particular really spoke to me.
May we start praying more... praying for God to send revival to our nation... praying for the one who makes life, to save that life... whichever way He plans. Yes.. we do have free will... but I also believe with all my heart.. that if you don't seek God's face in times like these, that it will get worse! As Christians, we must stand firm. Firm in the Faith... Firm in what we read in the Word... Firm in God!!
What does God say about Abortion?...
Don't respond to my reply on this without really ... truly... seeking the one who Made YOU... about the topic!
"Ignorance is bliss... that's why you ask questions!"
♥ Barbara
Love you guys.... :) Seek Jesus and Pray
October 26, 2008 at 5:46pm
This girl is 12 years old and she gets it!
This song doesnt ay anything about Abortion but it has a powerful Reminder of Gods love for us!
In 7 days I will write another blog with the results. Anyways, you should tell me your answers within the next 7 days I am curious about what you will say. If your wrong you will still not know the answers till 7 days from now. Their is a big point as to why I am doing this quiz which you will find out in 7days when I blog about it.
How well do you know me?
1. How many Siblings do I have?
2. How many times have I been in love?
3. Whats my favorite holiday?
4. Whats my biggest fear?
5. My favorite zoo animal?
6. What is my favorite exercise machine?
7. In High School I had 4 accomplishments what were they?
8. What state do I want to visit the most?
9. Who is my favorite author?
10. What is my favorite color?
So how many did you get right?:
Less than 5 you dont know me as well as you thought! huh?
Ok I get it. Their is a lot of stuff going on in the world today and its natural for people to stop caring about things. I have thought about becoming apathetic too... So far I haven't I care too much. No im not perfect their are a lot of words to describe me.but apathy doesnt define me. I wont get into what I think about myself though because if you read my self esteem blog you would know I dont think very much of myself. I think its pretty evident anyhow.When I make mistakes sometimes its because I have no confidence. It gets to the point that if their is a question that I know the answer too that sometimes I will either pretend like I dont know it or I will just not answer it at all to avoid looking like a know-it-all. Their are things I dont know but I think some people that I know would be surprised about how much I do know. Well I am not apathetic but I do care too much what others think about me... Anyways, I am also an over analyzer who thinks about everything.
,I havent blogged much lately because, I have been working on job hunting and honestly have not made time too. I have so much going on in my head right now. So much that I am not going to sleep until 2-4am in the morning. I will pace around my room sometimes or just sit and watch tv until the tv becomes blurry. Or sometimes I will lay on my bed and not do anything and try to fall asleep. People worry about how i sleep in but its because im up half the night trying to sleep.When I do wake up I do things. Job hunting etc..
My 2 biggest concerns I have right now. Please if you are apathetic at least care enough to pray for me about this stuff Thanks:
1) Not having a job. Without a job I cannot move forward with getting a car,place of my own, and everything else ....Like my plans to get my business certificate and possibly finish my Bachelors at CCCB. Not to sound selfish but I feel like I deserve a break! Its been a hard road getting to where I am and I love Moberly I am not ready to leave it again. I just got here! if I dont get a job by April and run out of my portion of rent I am scared of what will happen. Im 24 years old I need to get my life together! Im really freaking out about the no job thing lately. I pray to God all the time. "Please God take this worry" but then I still feel like im about to break. I keep applying for work but my confidence is shot I have only had 3 interviews 2 of which didnt hire me because I dont have a car and 1 because my credit is bad. I am not going to give up I just pray I get a job soon.
2) A lot of my friends and family are going through such a rough time and I really do care about them and I will put them before myself if it will help them. I want to take on all their problems and I just wish I could fix everything that is broken in there life.Truth is though God is the only fixer. I can help but I cant fix. I would do anything for any of them. . Even the ones who dont like me some days. Thats just how I am. Sometimes when I am helping someone I feel like I can come across as invasive maybe some of them dont want my help but I just want to help them and maybe eventually they will just tell me not to help them and I will back off. Or maybe Im just over analyzing that just like I over analyze everything else :p
Today was a really good day! It went by really fast! I had woken up at like 1130am (I went to bed at 330am) I was planning on job hunting but noticed the ice/snow outside and one of my roommates was on the computer so I couldnt get on. So I ate some food sat and visited with roommates then went to a food bank then came back. Laughed at myself as I tried to master Baseball on the Wii and then went back to the food bank to get food then I hung out with friends then I went to women's bible study.
I am really excited about the bible study its "James Mercy Triumphs by Beth Moore" If you havent at least read one of her books you should. She is an amazing speaker and author. She has such a fire for God and his people. Tonight we discussed James and she gave us his background. The bible study is mostly video and has a study guide. Then also in her book their is a 5 day reading every week and in the back their is a place to rewrite the book of James . After the next 7 weeks I plan to have the book memorized. I really needed to start a bible study like this. I was a little weary about it but after meeting the women there and visiting with some familar faces of when I first attended that church in 2007 it was nice and then when the series started as I heard the words from Beth Moores lips it was like music to my ears and I really learned a lot tonight. I cannot wait for next week and I am plugging into the reading portion tomorrow.
After bible study I had dinner with some friends and then played Family Game Night on the Wii. Super fun! I am so blessed to have such wonderful roommates and friends. They really are a family. We have gone through dry patches but for the most part we stick together and I hope that never changes.
Heres a story of the week for me: Someone calls me this week. . Anyhow, they asked how I was and I told them Good! I have just been hanging with people and looking for work. and that I really just want a job. They somehow misintrpreted it as me being depressed. I clarified to this person and I will clarify this to you. It is extremely hard waking up and not having an income or a job to go to. Its really frustrating to me. However, I always job hunt and I always push through the day. I am not depressed at all. I use to be but it was contugant on other things mostly. I know God and I know he has a plan.
Apathy sucks! God isn't in that term! Think about it! when you dont care are you thinking about God or his people? When in Apathy do you care about anything? Yeah thats what I thought! Not to sound like a jerk but im so sick of people not caring about anyone or anything but themselves.They make excuses like: no one else cares so why should I? I have been through too much to care.Those excuses are need too stop! because I can give you the best reason to care... His name is Jesus! He wants us to care! and he cares for us! So shouldn't we? YES! Anyways, here is 2 examples of Apathy:
1st Example: Kid: Excuse me sir, Do you have a any change im starving! Someone who is apathetic may have a dollar but they say : No, I dont. Later what do they do with the change they could have given? They spend it on something for themselves. Later, they dont feel guilty because their apathy has prevented them from caring.
2ndExample: The news tells us there are wars going on out there. Our reaction Eh, I am use to it or Eh, I dont care. Lets CARE!
Listen! Please! Care! If you for some reason arent in a good place where you feel like you can help someone the way they need or they dont want your help then you can at least pray. Praying helps too.Some things we cannot change from happening but we all have the choice on how we act. So lets act in a way that represents God. God loves you and the rest of his people.
Matthew 28:19
New Century Version (NCV)
19 So go and make followers of all people in the world. Baptize them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Romans 12:10-21
New Century Version (NCV)
10 Love each other like brothers and sisters. Give each other more honor than you want for yourselves.11 Do not be lazy but work hard, serving the Lord with all your heart.12 Be joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes, and pray at all times.13 Share with God's people who need help. Bring strangers in need into your homes.
14 Wish good for those who harm you; wish them well and do not curse them.15 Be happy with those who are happy, and be sad with those who are sad.16
Live in peace with each other. Do not be proud, but make friends with
those who seem unimportant. Do not think how smart you are.
17 If someone does wrong to you, do not pay him back by doing wrong to him. Try to do what everyone thinks is right.18 Do your best to live in peace with everyone. 19
My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait
for God to punish them with his anger. It is written: "I will punish
those who do wrong; I will repay them,"[a] says the Lord. 20 But you should do this:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him a drink.
Doing this will be like pouring burning coals on his head." — Proverbs 25:21–22 21 Do not let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good.
I dont like people seeing me break. I do my best to hide when I am hurting emotionally.Sometimes, when people confront me about it, I try to make a joke out of it or I just close off until I can calmly and collectively state whats going on. but when I dont feel good I let it be known but I try not to complain too much because I know their are people going through stuff much worse than me. Some of the stuff I hide is plain out of being prideful though. After all I am not perfect. I have my hurts like everyone else. I am glad that I started to blog again because it is good therapy for me to open up more. I love the fact that I can type how I feel when I cant get the words to say to anyone else. However,this is not a gossip column so I do my best not to mention anyone in it unless its positive.
I love how Natalie Grant puts it "Their is no such thing as perfect people" That whole song is beautiful and she sings about being yourself without pretending to be something that we aren't. She is right we shouldn't pretend to be okay when we are not. I know for me I will pretend to be okay when I am not A) Because I don't want to bring others down and B) I feel like a lot of the time people only really care about themselves. Honestly though if I hide my hurts then I am letting my tempature rise and the more I let things bottle up the more of a storm it will be later when I let it out. However, I still believe that some things are better left between an accountability partner, God and yourself.
Anyhow I have some prayer requests I have some friends and family going through an Extremely rough time so if you could take a minute and pray for them it would be appreciated. Thanks!
Psalm 34:19
New Century Version (NCV)
19 People who do what is right may have many problems,
but the Lord will solve them all.
Psalm 55:22
New Century Version (NCV)
22 Give your worries to the Lord,
and he will take care of you.
He will never let good people down.
Psalm 147:3
New Century Version (NCV)
3 He heals the brokenhearted
and bandages their wounds.
John 10:28
New Century Version (NCV)
28 I give them eternal life, and they will never die, and no one can steal them out of my hand.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
New Century Version (NCV)
Paul Gives Thanks to God
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is the Father who is full of mercy and all comfort.4 He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us.
Hebrews 7:25
New Century Version (NCV)
25 So he is able always to save those who come to God through him because he always lives, asking God to help them.
Today my exercise crushed me! It was my 2nd day of exercise and I am in pain from the neck down from lifting Cady (My roommates Saint Bearnard) and it feels like someone is stabing me all over my body. my back,right shoulder,and neck hurts the most. My legs and arms are just soar from working out I think..On top of it I feel bloated to the point like im going to blow up lol And im hungry but I will not eat this late! maybe ill just eat it like weird Al's song says jk lol Tomorrow I will be working out. Remember my last blog... No More Excuses! If im in pain tomorrow I will do a leisure walk to somewhere. Unless I cant move I will be working out. (Good chances I wont be able to move lol but Im hoping the pain wont be that bad) As of right now im bummed because I am uncomfortable with all of this pain :p I was suppose to do taebo today but ended up giving Cady a bath and taking her for a walk and lifting her which is like 100 lbs Lesson learned,,, Well I gave her a pretty good day. She may have not liked the bath but she once I got her in the tub she just accepted it and let me was her. And I know she liked the walk and now she is exhausted lol
Anyhow, Onto todays topic :) Weird Al is a funny man he always makes me laugh my but off. When I feel fat I think of 2 songs
Eat it! and Im Fat really do make me laugh but at the same time encourage me to stay focused on losing weight.
Here is some more weird al songs I like :-)
I think im just to white and nerdy lol and look at his lady gaga imitation LOL
I use to hate ebay and then I bought something off there and well its not too bad but you have to be careful what you buy.
YODA!
Last one is my favorite!I can relate to this drivthru experience lol
Whats your favorite Weird Al song? thats for reading this random yet funny blog It is funny but not because of me:p because of Weird AL lol
So, Im going to love this Season on Biggest Loser the theme is "No more excuses" I have had my excuses when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle.
Excuses:
1. Work
2. Church
3. Have no one to work out with
4. Im sick
5. Its just too hard
6. I give up ill always be a fat cow
7. Other people are overweight and they are doing fine
8. guys find me attractive when im overweight
9. other people dont care why should I
10. I have no self control when it comes to eating habits
11.when I was a kid I never learned how to eat right and have been overweight my whole life
No More Excuses! 1-11 are gone! I will get healthy! I was on a good track for losing weight in Firestone CO and one time in Florida too but I made excuses and well I gained weight. Im so embarassed that my heaviest weight was 240lbs. I cried so hard that day when I stepped on the Scale June 2011 . Never in a million years did I want to see that. I was so depressed after quitting Walmart that I ate all day long. Something was always in my mouth and I wasnt always hungry. I gained 40 lbs from my depression and eating so bad. I was walking everywhere but the weight didnt come off me because I was probably eating between 2000-3000 Calories a day. Pasta was my biggest enemy. Do you know those boxed pasta salads? I use to eat a whole box in one sitting then a few hours later I would eat another meal. I would also find change in my room and use it to go but a candy bar or 2 and Soda from the gas station. I was in love with food. I thought about food all day long... Well right before I left Florida I started to exercise and I stopped eating so much. I even cut out soda. I lost 5 lbs doing that and plus I was exercising a lot by doing Taebo and Bikeriding. The weight should of came off a lot faster but I was still eating the wrong kind of foods...
When I moved to Firestone,Colorado I lost 17.5 lbs because they had a program called weighandwin.com and their was a gym in the basement of the house i was living in. Also I did Turbo Jam. Once I got a job though I made an excuse of being too tired so I stopped working out as much. Before you knew it Thanksgiving was approaching and I overate.
Since,I have moved back to Moberly I have been so focused on Job hunting that I started to do the mindless eating thing again...Plus I found myself eating out to socialize with friends. Christmas I overate too :-P Lately, I have been sick and I have been getting a ridiculous amount of sleep. Today after watching Biggest Loser last night and hearing the theme I decided to work out. I went for a Brisk walk for 2 miles and did some pull ups with a bench at a park and then later I walked 0.8 to my friends house. I was really winded and I think part of it is im still not feeling all that well but I am making a change and nothing will stop me. I also ate yogurt for most of the day. I was just going to eat yogurt but got really dizzy and needed to eat something else. I didnt overeat today though which is good but my stomach is rumblin. It takes time *Sigh*
Im also trying to be there for some friends that have the same motivation to get healthy. I hope they will help me stick to my goals also. By my birthday June 10th I am hoping to be at 175lbs. and then by September 2012 I am hoping to be at my goal weight 154lbs. I havent been 154 since the 7th grade and in 8th grade I was 185lbs. then when I was in 11th grade I went down to 168 lbs because I was in weightlifting. I didnt go past 195lbs until College. In college 2005-2007 I was between 200-226. when I moved to Florida in january 2007 I was 226lbs and went down to 186lbs and kept it off until the summer of 2008 when I worked at Mcdonalds then 2008 until Febuary 2011 I never went past 200-214lbs then I quit my walmart job and went to 240lbs when I left florida July 2011 i was 235 lbs then In Firestone the beginning of November 2011 I was at 217lbs. I havent weighed in much but when I weighed myself a week or two ago I was 223lbs :'( NEVER AGAIN! After I lose the weight. I venture to say since then I probably gained another 5 lbs or so. I will weigh in sometime but I am not looking forward to it :-P
At least today I started a new healthy lifestyle again and I cant wait to see myself at my goal weight by next September :-) I have to keep myself motivated because if I dont I will have more health problems down the road. I am also taking "One A Day" multivitamin for women. Well If you are reading this blog and you are in Moberly or close by if you want to work out together let me know :-)
All in All my diet is to eat smaller portions and eat more veggies and fruit. Supplement snacking with Whey protein that I have and Exercise 5 times a week. I also will do portion control like I was taught with weigh and win. you sides should be no larger than the palm of your hand and your main course no bigger than your fist.
Tomorrow is day 2 I will be doing either Taebo or Wii Boxing :-)
So my ex from a very painful 2.5 year relationship just accepted a friend request I dont even remember sending tonight. Anyhow,I never thought I would be the type of girl to get cheated on. Well I just found out I was cheated on... It does kindof sting that it was the real reason why he was trying to get me to break up with him that day but all in all I actually convinced him to break up with me because I could tell he really wanted too. Especially when we went to a mall and he kept making comments about how fat I was and how he belonged with someone like Bella from "Twilight" . I should of known that he was cheating on me at the time. You want to know something odd though? I was so jealous back then, that he was the one to break up with me. I should of broken up with him... We had no chemistry. He saw everything wrong with me and I saw everything wrong with him. (the only difference is I never left his side but he sure left mine).
I thought that I had loved him like a soul mate. But In reality I didnt love him like 1Corinthians13 I loved him as a friend and I thought we could of stayed friends after we broke up. Because we were friends on and off while we were together when we werent fighting about our differences.Well not only did that not work out but he tried to get back with me and that whole time he was with someone.I found texts. I know I was stupid to betray someones privacy and I apologized to him for it but I had found texts of him and another girl saying "I Love you" and other stuff" he had lied to my face about being with this girl. Anyways, when he did accept a friend request I dont remember sending I saw that he has a kid and a fiance now so kudos to him but I will not be friends with him...
Now,I dont normally blog about others but this was really aggravating to me. I will keep names out of this to protect there Identities though.O and what is it with ex boyfriends??? Just a month ago I had another ex from the past ask me to move in with him. Of course I said NO! He had his chance and he blew it a long time ago. Well, he used his ex girlfriends phone and she called and chewed me out... She did apologize to me when I explained to her I want nothing to do with him. This ex also has a kid and is another loser...
Attack of the loser Exe's :-P So glad they are no longer in my life! Im better off without them! Because of them though I wonder if their is a better guy out there for me? One that doesnt cheat or lie. One that doesnt have an anger problem or an alcohol addiction. One that actually likes and loves me. Because of them I am afraid to date anymore.
Besides not to be critical but I see marriages I thought would never fail. Fail. and it just makes me wonder if their is such thing as a strong marriage that lasts forever. I really hope that my friends who have gotten married will last forever because they may be the only hope I have that I can find a good husband someday....
I have days where I am really happy to be single and then their are others where I really miss having a boyfriend. I have always depended on a relationship to make me happy up until this last year at least. When I have realized that I need to keep my identity when I get in another relationship someday I need to stay connected to who I am and who God made me to be. Its so easy to fall head over heals and lose yourself in the other person but I think that you need to keep your identity and strive to still have a side of individuality. I dont ever want to be with someone again that I rely on for everything and not have my likes and dislikes. I still will want to be able to do things on my own.
Their is this Married couple I know and they are a team but they also stay true to their own Identity. To me they are a perfect example of "Marriage" They bicker at times but its healthy and its never a blown out fight.
I want to be friends with the next guy and just let it develop into a relationship if their is chemistry. No more jumping into relationships like most of my relationships. And I think that dating is overrated because then your nervous and uncomfortable and you over think things or end up moving things way too fast. So im thinking a good friendship then a relationship is the best way to go. When I see all my friends who are married at least I see that a lot of them that started out friends.
