Apathy

Dictionary. com Defines Apathy:

ap·a·thy

 [ap-uh-thee] Show IPA

noun, plural -thies.

1.

absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.

2.

lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.

Ok I get it. Their is a lot of stuff going on in the world today and its natural for people to stop caring about things. I have thought about becoming apathetic too... So far I haven't I care too much.  No im not perfect their are a lot of words to describe me.but apathy doesnt define me. I wont get into what I think about myself though because if you read my self esteem  blog you would know I dont think very much of myself. I think its pretty evident anyhow.When I make mistakes sometimes its because I have no confidence. It gets to the point that if their is a question that I know the answer too that sometimes I will either pretend like I dont know it or I will just not answer it at all to avoid looking like a know-it-all. Their are things I dont know but I think some people that I know would be surprised about how much I do know.  Well I am not apathetic but I do care too much what others think about me... Anyways, I am also an over analyzer who thinks about everything. 

,I havent blogged much lately because, I have been working on job hunting and honestly have not made time too. I have so much going on in my head right now. So much that I am not going to sleep until  2-4am in the morning. I will pace around my room sometimes or just sit and watch tv until the tv becomes blurry. Or sometimes I will lay on my bed and not do anything and try to fall asleep. People worry about how i sleep in but its because im up half the night trying to sleep.When I do wake up I do things. Job hunting etc..

My 2 biggest concerns I have right now. Please if you are apathetic at least care enough to pray for me about this stuff Thanks: 

1) Not having a job. Without a job I cannot move forward with getting a car,place of my own, and everything else ....Like my plans to get my business certificate and possibly finish my Bachelors at CCCB. Not to sound selfish but I feel like I deserve a break! Its been a hard road getting to where I am and I love Moberly I am not ready to leave it again. I just got here!  if I dont get a job by April and run out of my portion of rent I am scared of what will happen. Im 24 years old I need to get my life together! Im really freaking out about the no job thing lately. I pray to God all the time. "Please God take this worry" but then I still feel like im about to break. I keep applying for work but my confidence is shot I have only had 3 interviews 2 of which didnt hire me because I dont have a car and 1 because my credit is bad.  I am not going to give up I just pray I get a job soon.

2) A lot of my friends and family are going through such a rough time and I really do care about them and I will put them before myself if it will help them. I want to take on all their problems and I just wish I could fix everything that is broken in there life.Truth is though God is the only fixer. I can help but I cant fix. I would do anything for any of them. . Even the ones who dont like me some days. Thats just how I am. Sometimes when I am helping someone I feel like I can come across as invasive maybe some of them dont want my help but I just want to help them and maybe eventually they will just tell me not to help them and I will back off. Or maybe Im just over analyzing that just like I over analyze everything else :p 

Today was a really good day! It went by really fast! I had woken up at like 1130am (I went to bed at 330am) I was planning on job hunting but noticed the ice/snow outside and one of my roommates was on the computer so I couldnt get on. So I ate some food sat and visited with roommates then went to a food bank then came back. Laughed at myself as I tried to master Baseball on the Wii and then went back to the food bank to get food then I  hung out with friends then  I went to women's bible study. 

I am really excited about the bible study its "James Mercy Triumphs by Beth Moore" If you havent at least read one of her books you should. She is an amazing speaker and author. She has such a fire for God and his people. Tonight we discussed James and she gave us his background. The bible study is mostly video and has a study guide. Then also in her book their is a 5 day reading every week and in the back their is a place to rewrite the book of James . After the next 7 weeks I plan to have the book memorized. I really needed to start a bible study like this. I was a little weary about it but after meeting the women there and visiting with some familar faces of when I first attended that church in 2007 it was nice and then when the series started as I heard the words from Beth Moores lips it was like music to my ears and I really learned a lot tonight. I cannot wait for next week and I am plugging into the reading portion tomorrow. 

After bible study I had dinner with some friends and then played Family Game Night on the Wii. Super fun! I am so blessed to have such wonderful roommates and friends. They really are a family. We have gone through dry patches but for the most part we stick together and I hope that never changes. 

 Heres a story  of the week for me: Someone calls me this week. . Anyhow, they asked how I was and I told them  Good! I have just been hanging with people and looking for work. and that I really just want a job. They somehow misintrpreted it as me being depressed. I clarified to this person and I will clarify this to you. It is extremely hard waking up and not having an income or a job to go to. Its really frustrating to me. However, I always job hunt and I always push through the day. I am not depressed at all. I use to be but it was contugant on other things mostly. I know God and I know he has a plan. 

 Apathy sucks! God isn't in that term! Think about it! when you dont care are you thinking about  God or his people? When in Apathy do you care about anything?  Yeah thats what I thought! Not to sound like a jerk but im so sick of people not caring about anyone or anything but themselves.They make excuses like: no one else cares so why should I? I have been through too much to care.Those excuses are need too stop! because I can give you the best reason to care... His name is Jesus! He wants us to care! and he cares for us! So shouldn't we? YES! Anyways, here is 2 examples of Apathy:  

1st Example: Kid: Excuse me sir, Do you have a any change im starving! Someone who is apathetic may have a dollar but they say : No, I dont. Later what do they do with the change they could have given? They spend it on something for themselves. Later, they dont feel guilty because their apathy has prevented them from caring. 

2ndExample: The news tells us there are wars going on out there. Our reaction Eh, I am use to it or Eh, I dont care. Lets CARE!

Listen! Please! Care!  If  you for some reason arent in a good  place where you feel like you can help someone the way they need or they dont want your help  then you can at least pray. Praying helps too.Some things we cannot change from happening but we all have the choice on how we act.  So lets act in a way that represents God. God loves you and the rest of his people.

Matthew 28:19

New Century Version (NCV)

¹⁹ So go and make followers of all people in the world. Baptize them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Romans 12:10-21

New Century Version (NCV)

¹⁰ Love each other like brothers and sisters. Give each other more honor than you want for yourselves.¹¹ Do not be lazy but work hard, serving the Lord with all your heart.¹² Be joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes, and pray at all times.¹³ Share with God's people who need help. Bring strangers in need into your homes.

 ¹⁴ Wish good for those who harm you; wish them well and do not curse them.¹⁵ Be happy with those who are happy, and be sad with those who are sad.¹⁶ Live in peace with each other. Do not be proud, but make friends with those who seem unimportant. Do not think how smart you are.

 ¹⁷ If someone does wrong to you, do not pay him back by doing wrong to him. Try to do what everyone thinks is right.¹⁸ Do your best to live in peace with everyone. ¹⁹ My friends, do not try to punish others when they wrong you, but wait for God to punish them with his anger. It is written: "I will punish those who do wrong; I will repay them,"^[a] says the Lord. ²⁰ But you should do this:
    "If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
       if he is thirsty, give him a drink.
    Doing this will be like pouring burning coals on his head." — Proverbs 25:21–22
²¹ Do not let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good.